Choices

Happy as ever, my little Byrd.  She has filled out so much.  I was looking through pictures of her when she was first born, then not eating.  She was so thin and I was so worried about her.  Now, as you can see, she is just fine.  She looks like the Gerber baby.  

This picture was taken by Aunt Lib.  Byrdie's first trip to NYC-she loved it.  We stayed in the East Village, but walked to the West Village every day.  I wish sometimes that we still lived in NYC.  It is so vibrant, so welcoming on a brisk fall day.  But, as I make difficult choices every day and will continue to do while raising this little love bug, I decided to look for something solid and lasting.  Something that would allow me to be creative and strong while making a life for us.  Fortunately, we have found this in Savannah, Georgia.  We are packing up (or really, I am packing-Byrdie is watching and George is barking) and heading east October 19th.  We flew (Byrdie's first plane trip) to Savannah over a month ago.  Our friend Rebecca gave us an amazing tour of Savannah-it is so charming.  Magical, really.  I interviewed with Savannah College of Art and Design for the Director of Events position, and I got it!!!!  I am thrilled and nervous and scared and excited.  Georgina Byrd, George and myself are going to live in Georgia.  I think that is a bit of fate.  So wish us safe travels and best wishes.  My little Byrd is gonna be a Georgia peach.  

so many things to say

byrdie is gorgeous, clearly.  and thankfully our good friend libby pettit has captured her perfectly here.  aunt lib came to houston after a trip to egypt and managed to take some pretty glorious shots of me and the byrd.  i thought byrdie should remain the star, though.  apologies for not posting sooner, but i have had a bit of trouble uploading pics to the site-and without a picture, there is just no story.

we just returned from NYC late late sunday night where byrdie was introduced to many of my good friends.  the most important part of the trip was meeting her dad.  it was pretty emotional for both jr and myself.  at least in the beginning.  i was pleasantly surprised by him, and his want to be near byrdie.  of course i am biased and do not want to be away from her, but i guess i was surprised by his sincerity.  it made me for a moment want to be around him on a very regular basis.  but i do not think that is the right choice for byrdie as he is still such a kid.  i just hope that he will want to remain in her life always and forever.

we were heading to CC this weekend for a little sip n see for the byrd but because of hurricane ike, we had to change our plans.  i am sad because there are so many people in corpus that i would like her to meet, but i certainly understand.  i am hopeful that corpus and the ones we love down there will be safe.

byrdie just turned 3 months on friday, september 5th.  oh she is such a big girl to me now-i know, just wait right?  i am just so overly proud of her-she is so good.  and when she smiles, which she does so often now, i feel so so proud and in love with her.

kissing the byrd

yesterday byrdie spent the day with aunt mona and uncle brian while i was at work.  thank goodness for them both because i was at ease all day knowing she was safe and happy.  she spends most days either being loved on by me or mona, so it was just another normal day for the byrd.  mona and brian kept sending me photos on my phone of the happy little byrd-this also eased my separation anxiety.  

while i was at the church finishing the arrangements, i got a call to pray for the jacomini family.  their plane had gone missing friday morning.  no one had heard from them since.  the little plane was being flown by tommy, who was accompanied by his wife and two young children.  i have not prayed in a very long time, and i did not really know the family, but it just worried me.  so as i stood on the altar at st. john's, i said a prayer for  the entire jacomini family.  today the plane was found with no survivors.  i just feel ill about it, the fear those little kids must have felt, the fear the parents must have felt for themselves and their children, for the grandparents who were hoping for the best.  i will continue to pray for them-the surviving family members and friends.  nothing is ever expected or planned, you have no idea what is in store for you or your loved ones.  everything is just so unpredictable.  when things like this happen my first silly instinct is to never do anything but protect my daughter, keep her safe, inside.  then i realize, what kind of life is that?  none.  what we should all learn from terrible tragedy is that life is short and we should remember to tell all that we love that we do indeed love them.  we should live each moment to its fullest, pursuing the dreams and ambitions that we know we are capable of.  i hope to live a long, healthy, successful,joyous life with byrdie by my side.  all i have to do is look over at her sweet face and know that everything is going to be just fine.

A few big steps

today we went for byrdie's first round of vaccines, and it was just awful.  she is such a calm baby, but today-she was not.  i think she knew what was coming bc once we got to the doctor's office, she let everyone know she did not want to be there.  oh i hated it for her.  and it did not help my anxiety about all of these vaccines.  i had the day off today, so i took lots of pictures and filmed a few videos simply to document how she was "before".  i am hoping there is no difference "after". she is sound asleep in her bouncy seat, and she looks the same-i know, i am a worried retarded mother.

the other big step is byrdie met her grandparents.  she briefly met her grandfather just a few weeks after she was born, but this past weekend jb and doc came to houston to meet the little byrd.  it was very sweet and definitely a step in the right direction.  more people to love on byrdie!!!!

Loving Byrdie

yesterday was the first day that byrdie and i have been separated.  it felt like my heart was being torn from my chest when i left her early in the morning. thankfully, my cousin myra was here with her all day. according to myra, when i made my third phone call to check in, they had been having a lovely time.  myra's husband matt came over and held byrdie.  when i got home, matt was feeding her in his arms.  really just too damn sweet.  and now matt and myra are heading to north east texas, for good.  we woodson girls (and george) are pretty sad about the move, but happy for them in their future art endeavors.  this morning as i had the byrd in my lap and was just, as usual, obsessively staring at her, i had to take a picture of her gorgeous lashes.  they get thicker and thicker and longer and longer daily.  by god, she is perfect.

my children

although we don't much like it when george barks, we do love that he is doing it with byrdie in mind.  he has become so protective of her-if i am washing dishes or something, he will run to me and her if she is crying.  he loves her, thankfully.

gorgeous golden girl

first of all, have you ever?  i mean seriously i just can't leave her alone for 5 seconds.  she is so much more alert and awake now, although you can not tell this by the photo.  she sits in her little bouncy seat and takes lots of quick short breaths because she is so excited.  she kicks her little legs and makes some of the funniest noises.  so all this leads to is me wanting to pick her up, put her in my lap where i know she is comfortable, and brush her head with my hand until she falls asleep.

and this pic makes her look so golden blonde.  what have i gotten myself into-am i going to have a darling little blonde/blue eyed angel?  whatever she turns out to be, i will just love her.  i get so anxious about choices i am making presently-is this right for byrdie, is this how i would want byrdie to see me, am i the person that i want byrdie to look up to?  oh, there are so many questions.  

First night in the bassinet

Byrdie moved from my bed to her own last night.  She seems to like it just as much as the co sleeper, the swing, the bouncy, or my lap.  She slept all night-we got out of bed at 6:30 after going to sleep around 10:30 (her, not me).  Pretty damn impressive right?  Our sweet friend Stacey loaned us the beautiful pink toille bassinet.  I used to hate pink,, seriously just thought it the worst use of color.  Now I adore it.  Strange how that happens.  Only my daughter could do that to me, completely change me.  And she has, in every way.

In House Day Care

So my question to all and any of you who are reading this and keeping up with us is this:

Do any of you know of a sweet nanny that would like to watch a darling baby and is not out of this world expensive?  Or a woman who keeps babies in their home?  I am very hesitant to put Byrdie in daycare, for many reasons. Mostly I just want to know that she is safe and is being given the attention she deserves.  

apparently i like these silly ornamentations more than i realized, but we only wear them in the privacy of our own home.... or the office.  

today was truly such a blessing.  my cousin myra came over to see the byrd-she had not seen her since june 5th, the birthday!  and she had not held her, so today she held her all day.  it was so sweet.  sweet of myra to spend the day with us.  sweet of myra to just be here so i could finally get some laundry done, wash some dishes, sweep the floor, change the sheets, dye my hair (you get the picture).  even when byrdie sleeps, i tend to not get much done.  i worry that she will projectile vomit and i will be in the other room, or she will stop breathing and i will have the water running.  i am starting to relax a bit more with her, but probably not in the eyes of a mother of two or three or four.  this saturday will be the first day i spend away from her, and i express how much i am dreading it.  but she will be with myra, loving every minute of her day.  so i am thankful today for my cousin, and byrdie's aunt.

under the tuscan sun

more of the darling little lauren alane byrds.  there names are martha sue and myrtle.  i had to post the sweet little myrt byrd, seeing that she is one of the godmothers to my byrd.  

we just watched under the tuscan sun-i definitely need to be watching more of this than cold case.  sandra oh says to diane lane at one point in the movie "i don't want to mess up your love life" "are you kidding patty, you are my love life" said by diane lane.  brought silly tears to my eyes because i feel like all of my friends are just like that with me, as is byrdie-my little love.

thanks guys for all of your love and support!!!

lauren alane birds

aunt lib stumbled upon these darling felt birds hand made by lauren bradshaw and i am so enamored with them.  now of course we know that i am a byrd lover, but i think everyone should fall in love with them.  this little lady to the left is guadalupe.  check her and all of her buddies out at 

www.laurenalane.com

seriously

i don't know how i get anything done with the byrd around.  she already has a little personality and she is only 7 weeks old.  she is so strong-i feel like if i ever left her alone for 5 minutes, i would find her standing on her on two feet attempting to walk!

yes, i am THAT mom who thinks her baby is better than your baby.  that she is smarter, cuter, sweeter, just all around better.  and you know what, in my eyes, she just is.  i get it now-that thing that parents do with their children.  they put them on a pedestal, they think their children are special, brilliant, destined to be einstein or beethoven or, let's face it, angelina jolie.  just hopefully a little less "i'm gonna have an affair with your husband and then go on to have 6 kids with him" and a bit more of the "let's try and save the world while we are it".  

i watch as many movements as possible that byrdie makes in a day,  which is a challenge considering i am at work with her, and also because i have to remind myself that i too need a life outside of my daughter.  in her swing she looks up to find her little face staring back down at her, and my god she adores her own face.  she smiles often now, even in her sleep.  

there is just nothing like this experience-truly.  i know i have quite a bit of hormones in my body at present, but i just get it.  i have always wanted kids, and had hoped to be a mother for a very long time.  of course, i wish the circumstances were different but they aren't. all i know that matters is that i love her and rub on her and hug on her all that i can!!!!  future is looking bright...... 

The Byrd has found her voice

tonite marks the first night that i have been officially scared.  the byrd was screaming crying, turning purple and was just all around so upset.  for all the mothers out there that were once first time moms, you know it can be terrifying.  do i put her in her car seat, get in the car and go to the hospital?  do i call 911?  do i call a friend and just hop in the car, carrying her in my lap?  my gosh, i just wanted her to calm down to let me know she was ok. and she did, not too long after she got herself all worked up.  

i consider myself very lucky-in so many ways-but especially because byrdie has been a peaceful baby.  she sleeps through the night, she rarely cries, she is eating well and gaining weight, she has started to smile a bit (which made me so happy and proud).  you just never know the extreme you will go to to protect your child.  ever.  until you have one in your arms.  so she has shown that she does indeed have quite a set of lungs on her, but she has also shown that she can ooooo, and aaaaaa, and make some of the sweetest little noises in the world.  

the picture above is how she normally is-calm as a cucumber, looking around, curious of her surroundings, and comfortable with almost anyone.  the head band, well that was something that her silly  mother wanted to try out!  that gorgeous silk ribbon matches her eyes almost identically.  byrdie received a package of vintage clothing in the mail the other-they are all much too big for her today, but look out-when they fit, i won't be writing-just posting up pics of what all baby girls should dress like (at least in my mind).  started her off early, vintage vintage vintage.

i just finished watching "dan in real life".  there are so many great quotes in the movie.  when discussing plans, his quote is "plan to be surprised".  that seems to be my life these days.  i am surprised daily how much i enjoy staying home with my dog and my daughter.  i was surprised by the extraordinary support of my friends throughout my pregnancy and byrdie's birth, and still today by how much love and compassion they show us.  i was and am surprised by my family.  i am surprised by how well i am adjusting to motherhood.  i am surprised by all the signs that are leading us to our future.  

so surprise is what i want to focus on now.  i have to say i am generally not happy with surprises.  i opened all gifts before christmas and my birthday.  i always want to know what happens in a movie.  but with byrdie, i LOVE surprises, because i love her.  the past few days she has been a bit fussy and i honestly believe it is because she can sense my anxiety.  so i am attempting to rid myself of all things that cause any anxiety so that byrdie can live a relaxing life.  many changes all at once come with having a child-i have always been one that loves change. the door is open, come on in!!!!

 

Inspiration

I found this dress in a store here in Houston called Petite Maison.  Lucky for me and Byrdie, it was marked down 70%.  Only bad thing is it is a size 2T-meaning she will have to wait about 2 yrs to wear it.  It is so damn pretty I honestly would like to frame it as a piece of art on my wall until she can indeed slip it over her little head.  The cotton toile fabric is sort of punk because of the color-but still remains sweet for a little girl.  Maybe someone I  know will get married in 2 years, ask Byrdie to be the flower girl, and she can walk down the aisle (preferably a grass one in the country-maybe in upstate New York-am I being too specific?), and wear this.  Perfect-now someone get engaged.

Pacifier Offering

Let me also introduce my first love George to this page.  He has been kind and accepting and just all around wonderful with his new baby sister.  He is aware that he is indeed playing second fiddle to the Byrd, but he is just fine with that, as long as he is included in our daily routine.  

One of the daily routines is the pacifier offering.  Byrdie gets pink, George gets blue-his are actually a gift from his buddy Harris, a darling 2 year old who carries around 6 at a time, plus the one in his mouth.  Thank you, sweet Harris, for sharing.

New Camera

i decided it was high time to invest in a new camera.  Now whether or not I have invested the time to figure out all of the settings, that is an entire different story. I promise once I have guidance from Lib, I will be better, but for now I am just happy the pics are clear and the camera is fast and I don't miss a thing that the Byrd does these days.  

Last night was pure comedy-i fear I am training her early to stay up late at night.  I was happy to finally be able to put on a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans and a cute top, if only to venture out to Target for some formula.  To all of you who have had to deal with weight loss or pregnancy weight loss, I am sure you understand being elated.  When we got home, after I fed the Byrd, we did our little routine of burping and changing the diaper, i know this is thrilling.  while dressed in my cute little shirt and little jeans, she decided to not only throw up all over me, but also (how do is say this in a nice way) go doo doo an pee on me.  i could not help but start laughing hysterically.  she is already letting me know that no way no how will i ever look better than her.  and i agree.  

so here she is above laughing with me after the all of the above occurred, and we took a bath-which she LOVES.

thank goodness i got the new camera to document  moments like this.

Independence Day

i have already learned more from my 4 week old daughter than i would honestly like to admit.  i also think that her name is so fitting of her, both of them really.  she is so reminiscent of a little bird, with her long arms and long fingers.  she constantly moves those arms around.  

oddly enough, i have been watching Mad Men all day today.  one of the characters is named Birdie-she is lovely and well mannered and looks a bit like grace kelly.  not to say that my byrdie will be any of the above, but it is odd and sweet to hear her name. some days i start to call her georgina, and some people are calling her b.  when i find myself talking about her, i call her the byrd.  

today has been refreshing.  a day to enjoy our independence and freedom.  i have never felt so free, as if i could just pick up my daughter and my dog and do anything and everything.  i am stronger and smarter.  i have more responsibility than ever, and for some reason, it is very freeing.  so today has been a great day for us.  i am looking forward to another one tomorrow.  byrdie turns 1 month at 1:39 in the afternoon.  she is sending out hugs and kisses to all and everyone.